Showing posts with label Doctor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Doctor. Show all posts

Monday 31 July 2023

A Doctor's Day Out

 

A Doctor's Day Out

In the bustling city of Giggleville, there stood a renowned hospital that was unlike any other. The reason? Dr. Chuckles, the mirthful medic known for his legendary humor and extraordinary ability to heal even the saddest souls with laughter.

One fine morning, Dr. Chuckles woke up, feeling more vibrant than ever. He donned his colorful lab coat, adorned with an assortment of silly buttons that read, "Keep Calm and Clown On" and "Laughter is Contagious—Catch It!"

As he strolled through the hospital's halls, his infectious laughter echoed, and patients couldn't help but feel curious about this legendary figure. One patient, Timmy, whose spirits were at an all-time low, asked the nurse, "Who is that doctor spreading joy like it's medicine?"

The nurse replied with a smile, "Oh, that's Dr. Chuckles! They say he has a prescription for laughter. He believes that a good joke can cure almost anything!"

Timmy's curiosity piqued, he decided to schedule an appointment with the mirthful doctor. On the appointed day, Timmy entered Dr. Chuckles' office, and before he could say a word, the doctor quipped, "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

Timmy couldn't help but chuckle. He shared his worries with the doctor, who listened intently, nodding with an exaggerated seriousness. Then, he burst into a fit of giggles and exclaimed, "Fear not, my friend! I'll prescribe you a hearty dose of humor, and I guarantee you'll be grinning like a Cheshire cat in no time!"

And so, Dr. Chuckles commenced his comedic treatment. For starters, he performed a "tickle test" to check Timmy's ticklishness quotient, which left Timmy in stitches—literally! Then, the doctor recommended a daily intake of at least 20 minutes of side-splitting sitcoms, along with a mandatory weekly laughter yoga class.

As the weeks passed, Timmy's laughter grew stronger, and his worries melted away like ice cream in the summer sun. Dr. Chuckles was indeed the best medicine!

The word of the doctor's magical prowess spread like wildfire, attracting patients from all corners of the world. They traveled far and wide to be part of this laughter-filled phenomenon. The hospital had to hire more staff to accommodate the influx of cheerful patients!

One day, a lady named Sally, who suffered from a severe case of the blues, sought Dr. Chuckles' help. He welcomed her with his signature greeting, "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"

Sally couldn't suppress her laughter, even with tears in her eyes. Dr. Chuckles patted her back and said, "Don't worry, laughter is the best medicine. What's more, recollect, life is short — grin while you actually have teeth!"

In no time, Sally's laughter became a permanent fixture, and she even discovered her passion for stand-up comedy, much to her surprise!

With his reputation soaring, Dr. Chuckles was invited to perform his laughter therapy at a comedy festival. The entire town flocked to the event, eager to witness his hilarity firsthand.

As he took the stage, the crowd erupted into applause. "Good evening, Giggleville! Is it true that you are prepared to chuckle until your cheeks hurt?" he boomed. And so, the show began, with Dr. Chuckles showcasing his funniest jokes and humorous anecdotes.

The festival turned into an uproarious fiesta, as laughter filled the air. Dr. Chuckles was like a wizard, casting spells of joy and happiness over the audience. Even the toughest critics couldn't help but surrender to the magic of his humor.

From that day on, Dr. Chuckles' fame reached even greater heights. He appeared on talk shows, wrote books on the healing power of laughter, and his catchphrases became household sayings.

As the years passed, Giggleville became synonymous with happiness and cheer, all thanks to the laughter revolution sparked by the mirthful medic. And so, the legacy of Dr. Chuckles lived on, leaving behind a trail of smiles and chuckles that would be remembered for generations to come.

Remember, in this whimsical world, where laughter is the currency of joy, and Dr. Chuckles reigns supreme, a little humor can go a long way in healing the heart and soul! So, embrace the mirth, share a joke, and let the laughter echo through the corridors of life!



Thursday 10 August 2017

Doctor And His Wife



Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house.
After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed."
"In bed this early, doing what?"
"Getting a second opinion!"


Sunday 2 April 2017

Who Shot The Big Buck



Three friends decided to go hunting together. One was a lawyer, one a doctor, and the other a preacher. As they were walking, along came a big buck. The three of them shot at the same time and the buck dropped immediately. The hunting party rushed to see how big it actually was. Upon reaching the fallen deer, they found out that it was dead but had only one bullet hole.A debate followed concerning whose buck it was. When a game warden came by, he offered to help. A few moments later, he had the answer.He said with much confidence, "The pastor shot the buck!" The friends were amazed that he could determine that so quickly and with so little examination. The game warden just smiled. "It was easy to figure out. The bullet went in one ear and out the other."


Wednesday 15 March 2017

Passing An Exam


Three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool, and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump. "Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim!" 


Monday 13 March 2017

A Man Goes To The Doctor



A man goes to the doctor to find out about his recent tests. 
"It's real bad, I'm afraid", says the doc, "you've got a disease so new that it hasn't even got a name yet - we just call it 'Blue 56'. The only certain thing is that you don't have much more than three days to live." 
Naturally the guy is devastated, and goes into a big depression. His girlfriend suggests they go to a casino to cheer him up just a bit till the end comes. So he goes reluctantly. 
As he walks into the Casino, he's the millionth customer and wins a brand new Rolls Royce. 
Then he pulls the handle of a slot machine as he passes, and wins the golden jackpot of £7 million. 
He sits down for a rest at the Blackjack table and wins £100,000 - straight 21's and he can't even be bothered to turn the cards. 
Weighed down with money, he throws it onto the nearest table. But it's the roulette wheel and the money is on 22 - which promptly comes up! 
"Jeez," says the croupier, "I never seen luck like that in my whole life!" 
"No, you don't understand," says the guy, "I've got blue 56..." 
"Woahhhh! Now you've also won todays raffle!!"


Wednesday 1 March 2017

Hot Day


It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection.

Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, so a woman rushed to help him.

When she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."

The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.

At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."


Wednesday 8 February 2017

Son Of A Lawyer


While two families were waiting in line to see the Washington Monument, their two 5-year-old boys were getting acquainted.

"My name is Joshua. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Adam," replied the second.

"My daddy is a doctor. What does YOUR daddy do for a living?" asked Joshua.

Adam proudly replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Joshua.

"No, just the regular kind," replied Adam.



Monday 16 January 2017

The Hearing Aid


Seems an elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%. The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, "your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again."

To which the gentleman said, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"



Sunday 25 September 2016

Artist Gets Noticed



An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman enquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That's wonderful!" the artist exclaimed. "What's the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor...."



Tuesday 20 September 2016

Three Doctors



Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the Pearly Gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?"

"I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord's babies into the world."

"Good enough to enter the gates," replied St. Peter and in he goes. The same question is asked of the second doctor.

"I am a general practioner and go to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor." St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the gates. The third doctor steps up in line and knowing the question, blurts out, "I am a director of an HMO."

St. Peter meditates on this for a while and then says, "Fine, you can enter Heaven...but only for 2 days."



Friday 26 August 2016

A Guy Goes To See The Doctor




A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him. 
Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor that he thinks might be able to help. 
The witch doctor takes a look at the problem and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter." 
Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Frog, will you marry me?" 
The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No." 
The guy looks down and sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great he thinks -- let's try that again. "Will you marry me?" 
The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!" 
Zappo! -- the guy's down to 15 inches. Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he calls across again, "Frog, will you marry me?" 
The irritated frog yells back, "Look..how many times do I have to tell you? No, No, NO!"


Sunday 17 July 2016

Doctor Talk Politics



An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks."

A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks."

A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks."

The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah! We are about to take an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country will be looking for work the next day."



Saturday 18 June 2016

Socks



A young man and a young woman were soon to be married, but they both had a problem they had never told anyone else about. The man approached his father one day before the wedding and told him about his problem. His feet REALLY stunk, even if he washed them constantly, he was worried that this would scare off his new bride, so he needed a solution, fast. His father pondered the situation and finally told his son to wear socks constantly (even to bed) and always wash his feet whenever he got a chance. The son thought about this and went along happy.

The same day the young lady approached her mother and told her about her problem. Her morning breath was horrid. Her mother reassured her and told her everyone had bad morning breath. The young woman told her mother that this was not normal morning breath but easily the worst in the world. The mother thinks about this and comes up with this bright idea. She tells her daughter to get up earlier than everyone else and don't say a thing, go make breakfast and then brush her teeth while the others are eating. The young woman thinks and then runs off to get ready for the wedding, happy.

The couple is married and they are happy, him with his perpetual socks and her with her morning silences. One morning about 5:30 am the young man wakes up to find one sock missing. He starts rustling around in the bed looking for it, which of course wakes up his wife, who without thinking asks what's wrong.

With a look of shock on his face the young man says, "OH MY GOD! You've swallowed my sock!"



Tuesday 19 April 2016

Strong Medicine For The Nun



Pat is not feeling very well and he decides to go to a doctor. 
While he is waiting in the doctor's reception room, a nun comes out of the doctor's office. She looks very ashen, drawn and haggard. 
Pat goes into the doctor's office and says to the doctor: "I just saw a nun leaving who looked absolutely terrible. I have never seen a woman look worse."

The doctor says: "I just told her that she is pregnant." 
Pat exclaims: "Oh my, is she?" 
The doctor responds: "No, but it sure cured her hiccups."



Sunday 20 March 2016

A Pregnant Woman



A pregnant woman went to the gynecologist, and when asked that was the problem, she responded, "Well, whenever I take off my clothes, my nipples get hard."

Shocked, the doctor took a deep breath, then asked, "Your nipples get hard?" 

"Yes" quite innocently came her reply. 

"Undress so I can check" replied the still amazed doc. 

So, she undressed, and he got down to the feeling and massaging, trying to reach an answer.

After some considerable time, the doctor, still looked puzzled, said, "Well madame, I don't know what you have, but it sure as hell is contagious!"


Friday 4 March 2016

The Veterinarian



A Veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet - *I* don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking."

She smugly added, "Why can't you?"

The doctor nodded, stood back, looked her up and down, quickly wrote out a prescription, handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if *that* doesn't work, we'll have to have you put to sleep."



Thursday 11 February 2016

The Old Man



The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. 
His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" 
He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." 
She says, "Why, are you sick?" 
He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." 
Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. 
He says, "Where the hell are you going"? 
She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." 
He says, "Why, what do you need?" 
She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."


Wednesday 3 February 2016

Refrigerator Man



A woman goes to a psychiatrist and says, ''Doctor, you've got to do something about my husband -- he thinks he's a refrigerator!''
''I wouldn't worry too much about it,'' the doctor replies. 'Lots of people have harmless delusions. It will pass.''

''But you don't understand,'' the woman insists. ''He sleeps with his mouth open, and the little light keeps me awake.''



Friday 22 January 2016

A Man Walks Into A Bar


A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder in the bartender's face.
Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. "I'm really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can't tell you how embarrassing it is to have a compulsion like this."
Far from being angry, the bartender was sympathetic. Before long, he was suggesting that the man see a psychoanalyst about his problem.
"I happen to have the name of a psychoanalyst," the bartender said. "My brother and my wife have both been treated by him, and they say he's as good as they come." The man wrote down the name of the doctor, thanked the bartender, and left. The bartender smiled, knowing he'd done a good deed for a fellow human being.
Six months later, the man was back. "Did you do what I suggested?" the bartender asked, serving the glass of white wine.
"I certainly did," the man said. "I've been seeing the psychoanalyst twice a week." He took a sip of the wine. Then he threw the remainder into the bartender's face.
The flustered bartender wiped his face with a towel. "The doctor doesn't seem to be doing you any good," he spluttered.
"On the contrary," the man said," he's done me a world of good."
"But you just threw the wine in my face again!" the bartender exclaimed.
"Yes," the man said. "But it doesn't embarrass me anymore!"



Saturday 9 January 2016

What There Daddy's Do


A third grade teacher asked her students to, one by one, stand in front of the class and tell what their Daddy's do.
Little Mary went first,

“My daddy is a doctor and he saves people's lives”

“That's wonderful Mary. Now how about you Jane, what does your daddy do?”

“My daddy is a lawyer and he puts bad people in jail,” says Jane

“Very good Jane. Ok Johnny, what does your daddy do?”

“My daddy is dead” says Johnny

“Oh, I'm very sorry to hear that Johnny,” said the teacher, “what did he do before he died?”

“He turned blue and shit on the carpet”