Showing posts with label Customer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Customer. Show all posts

Monday 13 March 2017

A Man Goes To The Doctor



A man goes to the doctor to find out about his recent tests. 
"It's real bad, I'm afraid", says the doc, "you've got a disease so new that it hasn't even got a name yet - we just call it 'Blue 56'. The only certain thing is that you don't have much more than three days to live." 
Naturally the guy is devastated, and goes into a big depression. His girlfriend suggests they go to a casino to cheer him up just a bit till the end comes. So he goes reluctantly. 
As he walks into the Casino, he's the millionth customer and wins a brand new Rolls Royce. 
Then he pulls the handle of a slot machine as he passes, and wins the golden jackpot of £7 million. 
He sits down for a rest at the Blackjack table and wins £100,000 - straight 21's and he can't even be bothered to turn the cards. 
Weighed down with money, he throws it onto the nearest table. But it's the roulette wheel and the money is on 22 - which promptly comes up! 
"Jeez," says the croupier, "I never seen luck like that in my whole life!" 
"No, you don't understand," says the guy, "I've got blue 56..." 
"Woahhhh! Now you've also won todays raffle!!"


Tuesday 3 November 2015

Gas Station



There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase it's sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time".

Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time".

As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."