Showing posts with label Buddy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Buddy. Show all posts

Monday 12 September 2016

Two Aliens



Two Aliens land in Detroit, next to a Gas station. The Aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first thing they see that resembles a being is the Gas pump. The two Aliens approach.
The first one says, "Earthling take me to your leader!" He gets no response.
The first Alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again, "Earthling, I said Take me to your leader!" Still no response.
The first Alien then turns to the second and says, "If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect I'm going to blast him!"
The second Alien replies, "O.K. but, I'm just going to stand down on the next block."
The first Alien looks a little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next block. He then addresses pump a third time,"Earthling take me to your leader!" No response.
The Alien then pulls out his ray-gun and shoots the pump... 
After the explosion the Alien gets up, dusts himself off then goes down the block to his buddy.He then says to the second Alien, "If you knew that was going to happen why didn't you warn me?"
The second replies, "I didn't know what was going to happen, but I'm not going to mess with anyone who can hang his penis to the ground, wrap it around his body twice, and can still stick it in his ear!"


Tuesday 3 November 2015

Gas Station



There was this gas station in "redneck country" trying to increase it's sales, so the owner put up a sign saying "Free Sex with Fill-up."
Soon a "redneck" customer pulled in, filled his tank, and then asked for his free sex.

The owner told him to pick a number from (1) to (10), and if he guessed correctly, he would get his free sex. The buyer then guessed (8) and the proprietor said, "No, you were close. The number was (7). Sorry, no free sex this time but maybe next time".

Some time thereafter, the same man, along with his buddy this time, pulled in again for a fill-up, and again he asked for his free sex. The proprietor again gave him the same story and asked him to guess the correct number. The man guessed (2) this time, and the proprietor said, "Sorry, it was (3). You were close but no free sex this time".

As they were driving away, the driver said to his buddy, "I think that game is rigged and he doesn't give away free sex". The buddy replied, "No, it's not rigged -- my wife won twice last week."