Three Doctors

Three doctors are waiting in line to get into the Pearly Gates. St. Peter walks out and asks the first one, "What have you done to enter Heaven?"

"I am a pediatrician and have brought thousands of the Lord's babies into the world."

"Good enough to enter the gates," replied St. Peter and in he goes. The same question is asked of the second doctor.

"I am a general practioner and go to Third World countries three times a year to cure the poor." St. Peter is impressed and allows him through the gates. The third doctor steps up in line and knowing the question, blurts out, "I am a director of an HMO."

St. Peter meditates on this for a while and then says, "Fine, you can enter Heaven...but only for 2 days."

Your Brother Named Them

A woman was rushed into the hospital in an ambulance as she was just about to give birth to twins. 

At the hospital the lady was in such pain she had to be sedated. 

A couple of hours after the babies had been delivered, she woke up and asked to see her children. 

"Doctor, could you bring my babies to me so I can name them?" 

The doctor replied, "You don't need to worry about names, your brother has already named them." 

"Why did you let him name them, he has no sense! What did he call the little girl then?" 

"Denise." replied the doctor. 

"Oh that’s not too bad, I thought u were going to tell me he'd named her something awful! So what did he call the little boy?" 

"De-nephew, of course!"