A Doctor's Day Out

 

In the bustling city of Giggleville, there stood a renowned hospital that was unlike any other. The reason? Dr. Chuckles, the mirthful medic known for his legendary humor and extraordinary ability to heal even the saddest souls with laughter.

One fine morning, Dr. Chuckles woke up, feeling more vibrant than ever. He donned his colorful lab coat, adorned with an assortment of silly buttons that read, "Keep Calm and Clown On" and "Laughter is Contagious—Catch It!"

As he strolled through the hospital's halls, his infectious laughter echoed, and patients couldn't help but feel curious about this legendary figure. One patient, Timmy, whose spirits were at an all-time low, asked the nurse, "Who is that doctor spreading joy like it's medicine?"

The nurse replied with a smile, "Oh, that's Dr. Chuckles! They say he has a prescription for laughter. He believes that a good joke can cure almost anything!"

Timmy's curiosity piqued, he decided to schedule an appointment with the mirthful doctor. On the appointed day, Timmy entered Dr. Chuckles' office, and before he could say a word, the doctor quipped, "Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!"

Timmy couldn't help but chuckle. He shared his worries with the doctor, who listened intently, nodding with an exaggerated seriousness. Then, he burst into a fit of giggles and exclaimed, "Fear not, my friend! I'll prescribe you a hearty dose of humor, and I guarantee you'll be grinning like a Cheshire cat in no time!"

And so, Dr. Chuckles commenced his comedic treatment. For starters, he performed a "tickle test" to check Timmy's ticklishness quotient, which left Timmy in stitches—literally! Then, the doctor recommended a daily intake of at least 20 minutes of side-splitting sitcoms, along with a mandatory weekly laughter yoga class.

As the weeks passed, Timmy's laughter grew stronger, and his worries melted away like ice cream in the summer sun. Dr. Chuckles was indeed the best medicine!

The word of the doctor's magical prowess spread like wildfire, attracting patients from all corners of the world. They traveled far and wide to be part of this laughter-filled phenomenon. The hospital had to hire more staff to accommodate the influx of cheerful patients!

One day, a lady named Sally, who suffered from a severe case of the blues, sought Dr. Chuckles' help. He welcomed her with his signature greeting, "Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!"

Sally couldn't suppress her laughter, even with tears in her eyes. Dr. Chuckles patted her back and said, "Don't worry, laughter is the best medicine. What's more, recollect, life is short — grin while you actually have teeth!"

In no time, Sally's laughter became a permanent fixture, and she even discovered her passion for stand-up comedy, much to her surprise!

With his reputation soaring, Dr. Chuckles was invited to perform his laughter therapy at a comedy festival. The entire town flocked to the event, eager to witness his hilarity firsthand.

As he took the stage, the crowd erupted into applause. "Good evening, Giggleville! Is it true that you are prepared to chuckle until your cheeks hurt?" he boomed. And so, the show began, with Dr. Chuckles showcasing his funniest jokes and humorous anecdotes.

The festival turned into an uproarious fiesta, as laughter filled the air. Dr. Chuckles was like a wizard, casting spells of joy and happiness over the audience. Even the toughest critics couldn't help but surrender to the magic of his humor.

From that day on, Dr. Chuckles' fame reached even greater heights. He appeared on talk shows, wrote books on the healing power of laughter, and his catchphrases became household sayings.

As the years passed, Giggleville became synonymous with happiness and cheer, all thanks to the laughter revolution sparked by the mirthful medic. And so, the legacy of Dr. Chuckles lived on, leaving behind a trail of smiles and chuckles that would be remembered for generations to come.

Remember, in this whimsical world, where laughter is the currency of joy, and Dr. Chuckles reigns supreme, a little humor can go a long way in healing the heart and soul! So, embrace the mirth, share a joke, and let the laughter echo through the corridors of life!

Funny Short Jokes

Why did the pencil get kicked out of the art class? 

 Because it couldn't resist sketchy behavior!

The Mischievous Microwave

Once upon a time in the bustling town of Gadgetsville, there was a mischievous microwave named Munchie. Munchie was not your ordinary microwave. It had a knack for pranks and loved to play tricks on the unsuspecting residents. One fine morning, as the sun peeked through the kitchen window, Munchie hatched a plan to start its day with a bang. It waited patiently for Mr. Thompson, an old man with a love for toast, to come down to the kitchen. As soon as Mr. Thompson placed his bread in the toaster, Munchie decided to intervene. With a sly grin on its microwave face, Munchie used its magical powers to heat the bread to an extraordinary degree. It turned the toaster into a little oven, and the bread began to puff up like a balloon. Mr. Thompson, oblivious to Munchie's antics, was startled when the toast shot out of the toaster, soaring across the room like a flying saucer. The toast landed right on top of Munchie, giving it a toasty hat. Mr. Thompson couldn't help but burst into laughter at the absurd sight. Munchie, delighted with the success of its prank, decided to take things further. The next victim on its list was Mrs. Rodriguez, the ever-curious neighbor. Mrs. Rodriguez was a bit of a health enthusiast and had a particular liking for steamed vegetables. Little did she know that Munchie had plans to turn her veggies into a juggling act! As soon as Mrs. Rodriguez placed her bowl of vegetables inside Munchie, the mischievous microwave set its timer to go haywire. Instead of steaming the vegetables gently, Munchie cranked up the power to maximum, causing the veggies to dance wildly inside. Mrs. Rodriguez opened the door, and a whirlwind of hot vegetables came flying out, landing in the most unexpected places. Carrots rolled under the table, broccoli florets perched on the lampshade, and peas scattered like confetti all around the room. Mrs. Rodriguez was astonished, but she couldn't help but chuckle at the ridiculous spectacle. Word of Munchie's pranks quickly spread through the town, and people couldn't wait to experience its mischief firsthand. Kids would line up their snacks, hoping for some amusing surprises, while adults took turns to see what chaos Munchie could create in their kitchens. It became a town-wide game, with Munchie as the ultimate prankster. However, Munchie soon realized that while its pranks were funny, they were also causing quite a mess. It had inadvertently become the cause of chaos instead of just adding laughter to people's lives. Realizing its mistake, Munchie decided to turn over a new leaf. One by one, Munchie sought out its victims and apologized for the havoc it had created. It promised to behave and bring joy to their kitchens without the mess. The townspeople were touched by Munchie's sincerity and forgave the mischievous microwave. From then on, Munchie became a well-behaved kitchen appliance, making delicious snacks and warming the hearts of everyone in Gadgetsville. And so, Munchie learned an important lesson—that laughter is wonderful, but it should never come at the expense of others. And as the town of Gadgetsville embraced Munchie's transformation, it became a place where pranks were replaced by laughter, and chaos turned into merriment.

Vacation

An elderly couple was flying to Hawaii for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives.” Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island. An hour later, the husband turns to his wife and asks, “Honey, did we pay the car bill this month?” “No, sweetheart,” she responds. Still shaken from the crash landing, he then asks, “Did we pay our credit card bill yet?” “Oh no! I’m sorry. I forgot to send the check,” she says. “One last thing, did you remember to pay the medical bill for the hospital visit last month?” he asks. “Oh, forgive me, sweetheart,” begged the wife. “I didn’t send that one, either.” The husband grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 50 years. She pulls away and asks him, “What was the hug for?” The husband answers, “They’ll find us!”..

Patriotic Jokes

 Isn't ironicly the tones red, white, and blue represent opportunity in the US?

Until they are blazing behind you.

Do you have any idea that there is the right to speak freely of discourse in China?

Yet, there is no opportunity after discourse.

All things considered, assuming that wrongdoing contenders battle wrongdoing and firemen battle fire, what do political dissidents battle?

They never notice that part to us, isn't that right?!

Where is the opportunity of a slave whose side interest is making neckbands?

Autonomy.

Thump, thump.

(Who's there?)

Freedom.

(Freedom who?)

Freedom Chimes are ringing, opportunity's here!

What do you call a presentation of Australian enthusiasm?

capture-bonding.

Yo mother so fat, the US military needed to give her opportunity.

Why are nations without the right to speak freely of discourse so unique?

Indeed, a few things are improved left inferred.

What do you call tea that preferences like opportunity?

LiberTEA.

For what reason should the exercise centers stay open consistently?

Each fair constitution ensures opportunity of the press.

What befell the analyst who was captured?

He currently has no levels of opportunity.

How would you restrict an Italian's right to speak freely?

Cuff them.

What's the principal revision in Super Mario's constitution?

Opportunity of Peach.

What do you call a Devoted Mass?

Dr. Star Radiant Standard.

Which part of the US military is the most enthusiastic?

The Aviation based armed forces; they're US AF.

Little Johnny: The F in China represents opportunity.

Little Timmy: There isn't a F in China.

Little Johnny: Precisely.

For what reason are there no thump kids about America?

Since opportunity rings!

What's more devoted than the Fourth of July?

The portion of July.

Did you catch wind of the American who composed an article about American Nationalism?

Then, at that point, he pointed at it and began yelling ' You Article! You Exposition!'

What do enthusiastic ponies eat?

U.S.HAY.

Do you recollect when the American banner used to be an image of opportunity and freedom?

In any case, presently it signifies, "Goodness better believe it. This individual is going to say some truly stupid poop on Facebook."

An attendant was dealing with an officer in the Military Emergency clinic.

"How I want to kiss the American banner before I pass on," the officer said. The medical caretaker was very moved by the fighter's positive energy and said, "I have a tattoo of the American banner on my base. You might kiss it if it's all the same to you."

"Obviously, I wouldn't see any problems. Much obliged to you for satisfying my last wish," the officer said. The medical attendant removed her underwear and the perishing trooper kissed the banner.

"Much thanks to you, nurture," he said "Presently could you be so kind as to pivot so I could kiss Shrub as well?"

Want to hear a kid about opportunity?

No don't bother, the Chinese will not get it.

Why are ginger balls the most energetic?

They're red, white and blue.

What is the most energetic piece of a father's body?

The prostate.

Thump, thump.

(Who's there?)

Uncovered.

(Uncovered who?)

Bare like a falcon, taking off in opportunity!

What's something contrary to Opportunity?

Freesubm.

For what reason should the date of a detainee's opportunity be known as a period?

Since it's the finish of their sentence.

What do you call milk that upholds opportunity of religion?

Lactose and open minded.

What does the 'F' in Hong Kong represent?

Opportunity.

An American loyalist with removed arms chooses to supplant them.

He gets a couple of wild bear arms from a bootleg market, and joins them all alone, with the assistance of a companion.

He is captured for adding to creature savagery and carrying out operations unlicensed.

When indicted, he gives a discourse safeguarding his entitlement to carry weapons.

For what reason is Potentially offensive humor like opportunity?

Not every person gets it.

For what reason really do hard of hearing individuals lose their ability to speak freely when captured?

They are cuffed.

How might Gandhi look in the event that he didn't battle for India's opportunity?

Alive.

For what reason does the sovereign have the most opportunity in chess?

Cause the board seems to be a kitchen floor.

Do you have an interesting Enthusiastic joke? Record your own Devoted quips in the remark area beneath

20 Sparkle Quips and Jokes to make your grin brilliant the entire day

 What do you call an unfortunate shine all over following seven days in length cocaine drinking spree?

Charlie Sheen.

I love eating gleam worms

Particularly as a light tidbit

For what reason does neon gleam?

Since it didn't, we'd needed to call it neoff.

My better half has begun mentioning ribbed, enhanced, and shine in obscurity condoms as opposed to being happy with customary ones.

I can't stay aware of the extreme changes in Ways of life.

Nitwits resemble sparkle sticks.

I need to wake up them and shake the poop from them until the light comes on.

Researchers have designed a liquor that sparkles in obscurity.

As such, you can now become inebriated and edified simultaneously.

What do you call a gathering of dubious shining pornstars?

Illuminaughties!

What did the cop share with the firefly?

Who shines there?

Whats the distinction between this young lady I recently met and a light?

The light is brilliant and looks sparkling.

Additionally I can unscrew it.

For what reason did the moth adhere to the lady's face?

Since she was *GLOWING*.

My new business flopped wretchedly, I was selling Shirts highlighting sparkle in obscurity dollar notes

However at that point my Father reminded me: cash doesn't shine on tees.

What do you call a blossom that shines in obscurity?

A light.

My canine has a gleam in obscurity tennis ball

We do whatever it takes not to leave it in that frame of mind on radiant days, since that would prompt shine ball warming.

Between tunes, a flashing orange light sparkles close to the band's speakers

Child: His amp is ablaze!

Father: it's an amplifire!

What do you call cheddar that sparkles in obscurity?

Halloumi-nescent.

Assuming the moon is made from cheddar, how can it shine?

It hallouminates.

What did one gleam worm told the other one?

You shine young lady!

I gazed at the roof bulb sparkling for quite a while.

It was the high-best part of me.

My father strolls in sparkling with his new bare hairdo:

Me: Goodness, you got a hair style!

Father: quits grinning and expresses No, I got them generally cut.

What do you call a quip that sparkles?

I don't have the foggiest idea, there is no quip sparkle.

What is 3-3×6+2 ? Be a virtuoso like Albert Einstein. Recall the digits 3 3 6 2 well

 

What if you could time travel and came face to face with Albert Einstein suddenly? And the latter asked you a maths question to test if the people from the future had reached his level. He would ask, “Whats 3-3 x 6+2 = ?”, Even though the answer looks simple, you need to be careful, just remember these figures well, 3 3 6 2, and start computing the multiplication, addition and subtraction (using the rule of BODMAS, if you remember your Maths class well); take this as a hint.

So what would you answer? Please comment below or scroll down for the workings and the answer.

NOTE: BODMAS stands for Bracket of Division Multiplication Addition & Subtraction and represents the order of doing the calculations.

3-3 x 6+2 = ?

Step 1 : First, we do the multiplication.

-3 x 6 = -18

Step 2 : Second, we do the addition.

-18 + 2 = -16

3 -16 = -13

So the answer becomes -13.

Newly Couple

Water Bottle With Straw Lid

 At 85 years old, Wally wedded Lou Anne, a beautiful 25-year-old.

Since her new spouse is so old, Lou Anne concludes that after their wedding she and Wally ought to have separate rooms, since she is worried that her new yet matured husband might overexert himself assuming they go through the whole night together.

At 85 years old, Wally wedded Lou Anne, a wonderful 25-year-old.

Since her new spouse is so old, Lou Anne concludes that after their wedding she and Wally ought to have separate rooms, since she is worried that her new however matured husband might overexert himself assuming they go through the whole night together.

To some degree astonished, Lou Anne assents for seriously coupling. At the point when the love birds are finished, Wally kisses his lady of the hour, offers her an affectionate goodnight, and leaves.

She is set to nod off once more, be that as it may, aha you got it - Wally is back once more, rapping on the entryway, and is basically as new as a 25-year-old, prepared for more "activity".

Furthermore, indeed they partake in one another. In any case, as Wally gets set to leave once more, his young lady of the hour shares with him, "I'm completely dazzled that at your age you can perform so well thus frequently.

I have been with folks under 33% of your age that were just great once. You are genuinely an extraordinary sweetheart, Wally." Wally, to some degree humiliated, goes to Lou Anne and says: … … … "You mean I was here as of now?"

Heaven

 Long time companions Sylvia and Wanda get together in Paradise.

SYLVIA: Howdy! Wanda. WANDA: Howdy! Sylvia. How'd you kick the bucket?…

SYLVIA: I stuck to death. WANDA: How awful!

SYLVIA: It wasn't all that awful. After I quit shaking from the chilly, I started to get warm and sluggish, lastly passed on a quiet demise.

And you? WANDA: I passed on from a monstrous coronary episode.

I thought that my significant other was cheating, so I got back home right on time to get him in the demonstration. In any case, all things being equal, I found him without help from anyone else in the sanctum staring at the television.

SYLVIA: Anyway, what was the deal?

WANDA: I was so certain there was one more lady there some place that I began running all once again the house looking.

I ran up into the loft and looked, and down into the storm cellar.

Then I went through each storeroom and really looked at under every one of the beds.

I kept this up until I had looked all over, lastly I turned out to be depleted to such an extent that I just fell over with a respiratory failure and kicked the bucket.

SYLVIA: Really awful you didn't search in the cooler — we'd both still be alive.

Date

 One night a person brings his better half back home.

They are going to kiss each other goodnight, yet the person is feeling somewhat horny.

With a demeanor of certainty, he inclines with his hand against the wall and, grinning, he tells her "Sweetheart, could you give me a BJ?"

Shocked, she answers "Would you say you are frantic? My folks will see us!"

Him: "Gracious please! Who will see us at this hour?"

Her: "No, please. Might you at any point suppose we get found out?"

Him: "Gracious come on, there's no one around, they're all dozing!"

Her: "Absolutely not a chance. It's simply excessively dangerous!"

Him (horny as damnation): "Good gracious, please, I love you to such an extent!"

Her: "No, no, and negative. I love you as well, yet There's simply no way!"

Him: "Gracious yes you can. Please?" Her: "No, no. There's simply no way" Him: "I beseech you… "

Suddenly, the light on the steps goes on, and the young lady's sister appears in her night robe, hair rumpled, and in a drowsy voice she says: "Father says to feel free to give him a BJ. Or then again I can make it happen. Or on the other hand on the off chance that need be, he'll descend himself and do it. However, for the love advise him to grasp his hand off the fu*kin radio!..

Grade

 Little Johnny Claims He's Excessively Savvy For The 1st Grade

A 1st grade instructor was experiencing difficulty with one of her understudies. On one occasion she asked Johnny what his concern was so he answered, "I'm excessively brilliant for the 1st grade, my sister is in the 3rd grade I'm more astute than her as well." The educator took him to the key's office and clarified the circumstance for the head.

The chief told her that he would give Johnny a test, and assuming he neglected to respond to one inquiry he would need to return to the 1st grade and be very.

The educator and Johnny both concurred.

Head: "What is 3 x 3?"

Johnny: "9"

Head: "6 x 6"

Johnny "36"

Thus it went on this way, the chief posed him each inquiry a third grader ought to be aware. At long last after about an hour he told the educator "I see not a really obvious explanation Johnny can't happen to the third grade,he responded to each of my inquiries right."

The educator inquired as to whether she could ask him a few questions.The head and Johnny concur.

Educator: What does a cow have 4 of that I just have 2 of?

Johnny: "Legs"

Educator: "What do you have in your jeans that I don't have?" The chief wheezes however before he can prevent him from noting Johnny says, "pockets"

Educator: "How does a canine respond that a man ventures into?"

Johnny: "Jeans"

Instructor: "Which begins with F and closures with K and means a great deal of energy?"

Johnny: "Fire engine"

The vital breaths a major moan of help and says "Put Johnny in the fifth grade,I triumphed ultimately the last 4 inquiries wrong myself.

Court

 A police bike cop stops a driver for running a red light. The person is a genuine jerk and comes running back to the official requesting to know why he is being bothered by the Gestapo! So the official smoothly tells him of the red light infringement. The driver immediately rants and raves, scrutinizing the official's family line, sexual direction, and so on, in rather express terms.

The rant happens without the official saying anything.

At the point when he totally finishes composing the ticket he puts an "AH" in the lower right corner of the story piece of the ticket. He then, at that point, hands it to the 'violator' for his mark. The person signs the ticket furiously, and when given his duplicate focuses to the "AH" and requests to understand a big motivator for it.

According to the official, "That is so when we go to court, I'll recollect that no doubt about it!"

After two months they're in court. The 'violator' has such a terrible driving record he is going to lose his permit and has employed a legal counselor to address him. On the stand the official vouches for seeing the man run the red light. Under interrogation the protection lawyer inquires; "Official is this a sensible copy of the ticket you gave my client?"

Official answers, "Indeed, sir, that is the litigant's duplicate, his mark and mine, same number at the top."

Legal advisor: "Official, is there a specific stamping or documentation on this ticket you don't regularly make?"

"Indeed, sir, in the lower right corner of the story there is an "AH," underlined."

"What does the "AH" represent, official?"

"Forceful and unfriendly, Sir."

"Forceful and threatening?"

"Indeed, Sir?

"Official, would you say you are certain it doesn't represent Poop hole?"

"All things considered, sir, you understand your client better than I do!"

Kiss

PEDIGREE Small Dog Complete Nutrition

 A wedded couple was in a horrendous mishap where the man's face was seriously scorched. The specialist let the spouse know that they couldn't join any skin from his body since he was excessively thin. So the spouse proposed to give her very own portion skin.

Nonetheless, the main skin on her body that the specialist felt was reasonable would need to come from her hindquarters.

The couple concurred that they would enlighten nobody concerning where the skin came from, and they mentioned that the specialist likewise honor their mystery. All things considered, this was an extremely sensitive matter.

After the medical procedure was finished, everybody was flabbergasted at the man's new face. He looked more attractive than he ever had previously! Every one of his companions and family members just continued forever about his energetic excellence!

At some point, he was distant from everyone else with his significant other, and he was overwhelmed with feeling at her penance. He said, "Dear, I simply need to thank you for all that you accomplished for me. How might I conceivably reimburse you?"

"My sweetheart," she answered, "I get every one of the says thanks to I really want each time I see your mom kiss you on the cheeks.

Headache

 Joe was a successful lawyer, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his career and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across an old country doctor who solved the problem.

The good news is I can cure your headaches… the bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.

Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had anything to live for. He couldn’t concentrate long enough to answer, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife. When he left the hospital he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life. He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, that’s what I need  a new suit.

He entered the shop and told the salesman, “I’d like a new suit.” The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, “Let’s see… size 42 long.” Joe laughed, “That’s right, how did you know?” “Been in business 60 years!” Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, “how about a new shirt?” Joe thought for a moment and then said “sure…” The salesman eyed Joe and said “let’s see…34 sleeves and…16 and a half neck.” Joe was surprised, “that’s right, how did you know?” “Been in the business 60 years” Joe tried one the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked “how about some new shoes?” Joe was on a roll and said “sure!”

The salesman eyed Joe’s feet and said “Let’s see… 10-1/2…E.” Joe said astonished, “that’s right, how did you know?” “Been in business 60 years!” Joe tried on the shoes and they fit perfectly. Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked “how about some new underwear?” Joe thought for a second and said, “sure!” The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe’s waist and said “Let’s see… size 36.”

Joe laughed, “Ah ha! I got you I’ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old.” “The salesman shook his head, “you can’t wear a size 34, it will press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.”

My Dear Wife

 My Dear Wife…

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.

Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don’t be upset—-I shall be home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:

My Dear Husband…

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about me being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old.

As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach.

He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference – 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow..

Can You Give Me A Push

 A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.

“Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3:00 in the morning!”

He slams the door and returns to bed.

“Who was that?” asked his wife..

“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.

“Did you help him?” she asks.

“No, I did not, it’s 3 am in the morning and it’s bloomin’ well pouring with rain out there!”

“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife. “Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself! God loves drunk people too you know.”

The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.

He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”

“Yes,” comes back the answer.

“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.

“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.

“Where are you?” asks the husband.

“Over here on the swing,” replied the drunk.

LOL