A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"
Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.
The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"
The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."
A minister dies and is waiting in line at thePearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressedin sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, andjeans.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, sothat I may know whether or not to admit you tothe Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, ofNoo Yawk City."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and saysto the taxi-driver, "Take this silken robe andgolden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The taxi-driver goes into Heaven with his robe andstaff, and it's the minister's turn. He standserect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor ofSaint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to theminister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staffand enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was ataxi-driver and he gets a silken robe and golden staff.How can this be?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter."While you preached, people slept; while he drove,people prayed."
