Praying For A Parking Space

A laywoman was driving down the street in a sweat because she had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking space. Looking up toward heaven, she said, “Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I’ll go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking wine.”
Miraculously, a parking space opened up right in front of her destination.
The woman looked up to heaven and said, “Never mind, Lord; I found one on my own.”

Biker's Dog

A highly timid little man, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?" 

A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?" 

"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir." 

"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?" 

"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy." 

"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?" 

"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."      

Poor Game Of Golf

After a particularly poor game of golf, a popular club member skipped the clubhouse and started to go home. As he was walking to the parking lot to get his car, a policeman stopped him and asked, "Did you tee off on the sixteenth hole about 20 minutes ago?"

"Yes," the golfer responded.

"Did you happen to hook your ball so that it went over the trees and off the course?"

"Yes, I did. How did you know?" he asked.

"Well," said the policeman very seriously, "Your ball flew out onto the highway and crashed through a driver's windshield. The car went out of control, crashing into five other cars and a fire truck. The fire truck couldn't make it to the fire, and the building burned down. So, what are you going to do about it?"

The golfer thought it over carefully and responded... "I think I'll close my stance a little bit, tighten my grip and lower my right thumb."