Food

A woman asks her husband if he'd like some breakfast. "Would you like bacon and eggs, perhaps? A slice of toast and maybe some grapefruit and coffee?" she asks. 
He declines. "Thanks for asking, but I'm not hungry right now. It's this Viagra," he says. "It's really taken the edge off my appetite." 
At lunch time, she asks if he would like something. "A bowl of soup, homemade muffins, or a cheese sandwich?" she inquires. He declines. "The Viagra," he says, "really trashes my desire for food." 
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat. "Would you like a juicy porterhouse steak and scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken, or tasty stir fry?" He declines again. "Nah, still not hungry." 
"Well," she said, "would you mind letting me up? I'm starving."         

An Elderly Gentleman

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacistto fill his prescription for Viagra. "How many do you want?" asked the pharmacist.

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe half a dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."

Upon hearing that, the pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex." 

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past ninety years old and I don't even think about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out enough so I don't pee on my shoes." 

The Old Man

The old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. 

His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, "Where are you going?" 

He replies, "I'm going to the doctor." 

She says, "Why, are you sick?" 

He says, "Nope, I'm going to get me some of that Viagra stuff." 

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat. 

He says, "Where the hell are you going"? 

She answers, "I'm going to the doctor, too." 

He says, "Why, what do you need?" 

She says, "If you're going to start using that rusty old thing, I'm getting a tetanus shot."

Local Drug Store

An elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked the pharmacist to fill his prescription for Viagra. "How many do you want?" asked the pharmacist.

The man replied, "Just a few, maybe half a dozen. I cut each one into four pieces."

Upon hearing that, the pharmacist said, "That's too small a dose. That won't get you through sex." 

The old fellow said, "Oh, I'm past ninety years old and I don't even think about sex anymore. I just want it to stick out enough so I don't pee on my shoes." 

Some Of That Viagra Stuff

An old man in his mid-eighties struggles to get up from the couch then starts putting on his coat. His wife, seeing the unexpected behavior, asks, “Where are you going?”

He replies, “I’m going to the doctor.”

She says, “Why, are you sick?”

He says, “Nope, I’m going to get me some of that Viagra stuff.”

Immediately the wife starts working and positioning herself to get out of her rocker and begins to put on her coat.

He says, “Where the heck are you going”?

She answers, “I’m going to the doctor, too.”

He says, “Why, what do you need?”

She says, “If you’re going to start using that rusty old thing, I’m getting a Tetanus shot.”