A Prisoner In Jail

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" 

The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replied in a letter: "Dear Wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money." 

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: "Dear Husband, You wouldn't believe what happened, some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up all the back garden." 

The prisoner wrote another letter back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce." 

A Man Went To His Lawyer

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he doesn't want to pay up. What should I do?"
"Do you have any proof?" asked the lawyer.
"Nope," replied the man.
"Okay, then write him a letter asking him for the $1000 he owed you," said the lawyer.
"But it's only $500," replied the man.
"Precisely. That's what he will reply and we will have the proof we need to nail him."

Money From God

A little boy who wanted $100 very badly prayed and prayed for two weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God requesting the $100.

When the postal authorities received the letter to "God, USA," they decided to send it to President Clinton. The president was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5 bill. Mr. Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5, and immediately sat down to write a thank you note to God which read "Dear God, Thank you for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C., and as usual, those bastards deducted $95."

Saudi Prince Went To Germany

A Saudi Prince went to Germany to study.
A month later, he sends a letter to his dad saying: "Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,but I'm a bit ashamed to arrive to school with my gold Mercedes when all my teachers travel by train." 
Sometime later he gets a letter from his dad with a ten million dollar check saying: "Stop embarrassing us, go and get yourself a train too”!

Letter

A man and his wife received a letter from their daughter who went to study overseas: 

My beloved Parents, I miss you so much. I don’t know when I’m coming home, but it seems not anytime soon. It breaks my heart to think that by the time I get back you’ll be too old. So enclosed you will find a bottle of a potion I have invented. It will make you young, so when I return you’ll be the same age as I left you. 

NOTE: “Please take only one drop” 

So they opened the envelope and in it there is a bottle with a red potion. The husband looks at the wife and says: “You go first.” 

So the wife opens the bottle and takes a drop, there after the husband follows. Indeed they do turn 5 years younger. 

Years later the daughter returns home to find her mother young and beautiful, carrying a baby on her back. 

The mother proceeds to tell her daughter how the potion worked and made her look young. 

The daughter is delighted and asks about her father. 

“Your father? Hmmm, my child, your father was so jealous that I was young and beautiful so he drank the whole bottle.” 

“So where is he?” 

“Oh, that’s him I have on my back."

Working in The Garden

A prisioner in jail received a letter from his wife: 

"I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?" 

The prisioner, knowing that the prison guards read all the mail, replied in a letter: 

"Dear Wife, whatever you do, DO NOT touch the back garden! That is where I hid all the gold." 

A week or so later, he received another letter from his wife: 

"You wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house, and dug up the whole back garden." 

The prisoner wrote another letter:

"Dear wife, NOW is the best time to plant the lettuce!"